Please, please don’t buy an ‘AI-optimized’ screen protector or phone case

Call me a Luddite, but my eyes glaze over when a product claims it has an “AI-optimized” design. Whether it’s marketing oversaturation or a growing existential dread as AI threatens to take over both my career and my hobbies, the phrase goes into one ear and out the other as just another buzzword, even though AI is changing the world as I write this.

This came back to mind recently after a viral Reddit post showed a screen protector with an “Optimized for AI” badge on the box. After some investigation, it appears to be a standard tempered glass screen protector from AmazingThing. I guess it’s as “Optimized for AI” as a screen protector can be, since it’s just a thin piece of glass.

But this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to questionable AI claims on non-tech products, so join me as we dive into the depths of a new age of marketing slop.

I first noticed this trend last year with phone cases. I typically test cases for our lists, and Spigen was one of the first to slap the AI moniker on its cases. For example, the Spigen Tough Armor (Ai) MagFit case is virtually identical to its predecessor, with a magnet as the most sophisticated component. No terrible AI companion is hiding in there.

The listing claims it has “AI-enhanced XRD Foam placement via LS-DYNA Test,” so I guess the AI is sprinkled in there during the design phase. When looking at the cases side-by-side, I couldn’t tell you what is different about the XRD Foam placement, but I certainly hope a trained engineer checked the AI’s work before it went into production.

There are some products where some level of intervention almost makes sense. Oral-B’s Genius X electric toothbrushes use “AI Brushing Recognition” to tell you when you’ve missed a spot while brushing your teeth. I feel like this is something my organic brain could handle, but if it keeps nine out of ten robot dentists off my back, I’m willing to give it a shot.

Then there are things like Brisk It AI-Powered Grills, which have integrated Wi-Fi and an AI assistant to help you grill to perfection. Personally, fatherhood has given me a new appreciation for staring at a rack of meat in solitude for hours at a time, but if you’d rather stare at temperature readings on your phone, more power to you.

But there’s one product that I find so egregious that I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. Allow me to introduce you to AI golf clubs.

These are Callaway’s AI-enhanced irons. No, these clubs won’t play golf for you, nor do they have an integrated assistant to help you bring down your handicap. Instead, they use AI in the design phase, similar to Spigen’s (Ai) cases.

The company claims it used AI to analyze swing data of thousands of golfers to find a design that “promotes maximum distance with tight dispersion into the green.” It calls this technology AI Smart Face, which is fitting because you’d have to be a total dumbass to buy into it.

Also fitting is the name of the product itself — Paradym Ai Smoke Irons. Yes, Callaway’s marketing department is literally selling AI smoke to consumers, and it isn’t ashamed to admit it.

So let this serve as a lesson to all of us: Don’t buy into the AI hype for most products. Generative AI is one thing, but when it comes to everything else, from AI-optimized screen protectors to golf clubs, most of it is just smoke.