If you want to give people something to talk about in the New Year, make it your newly enhanced communication skills. Almost every aspect of your life will benefit.
âIf thereâs one thing we can do to improve our relationships and even our sense of wellness, itâs working on our communication,â says Meredith Harrigan, a professor in the department of communication at the State University of New York at Geneseo. âYet people tend to think that communication is easier than it is, or that itâs just something we naturally do well, rather than something we can practice and develop and give intention and attention to.â
With that in mind, we asked experts which common habits need to be left in the pastâand why.
Over-relying on AI
Throughout 2025, something strange happened to our messages: They all started sounding the same. LinkedIn posts, emails, and even opening lines on dating apps became polished but oddly interchangeable, says Audra Nuru, a professor of communication studies and family studies at the University of St. Thomas in St. Paul, Minn. âMessages lost their pulseâthereâs no sense of whoâs behind the words,â she says. âThey read like templates instead of something written by an actual person.â
That doesnât land well with the people on the receiving end. When a message feels automated instead of personal, it can come across as distant or even misleading, she says.
In the coming year, Nuru suggests using tools like ChatGPT as a brainstorming partner, rather than a stand-in for your own voice. âWhen everything starts to sound polished and predictable, we lose the small markers that make communication feel human,â she says. âWe lose the quirks, hesitations, warmth, and lived experience that tell someone, âIâm here with you.ââ
Leaving people on read
You know when you send someone a text, and you can tell they read it but they donât respond for 12 anxiety-filled hours? Nuru thinks of it as the texting disappearing actâand says itâs time to close the curtains on the habit.Â
People who leave others on read âturn silence into a message itself,â she says. âWe start wondering if something shifted or if we said the wrong thing, when really, that other person is just busy or overwhelmed.â
Read More: The 4-Word Trick to Saying a Great Goodbye
You donât need to always be available, Nuru addsâand in fact, itâs a good idea to set boundaries instead of responding to texts 24/7. However, she recommends sending a short reply: âI saw this, and Iâll respond when I can.â
âThat keeps the conversation relatively steady, instead of leaving someone to guess what that silence means,â she says. âWe can give ourselves room to respond when weâre truly ready, while still letting the other person know that they havenât been forgotten.â
Breadcrumbing
This buzzy term describes the slow drip of attention that never quite develops into anything meaningful. Think: occasional texts suggesting get-togethers that never happen, or vague messages with no follow-through. Unlike ghostingâs clean break, âit involves sending just enough sporadic communication to keep someone emotionally invested,â Nuru says, âwithout any actual commitment.â
Thereâs just enough warmth to keep hope alive, followed by silence that creates confusion and self-doubt. It feels like emotional whiplash, she addsâand research suggests itâs even more distressing than ghosting, because it keeps people in a prolonged state of uncertainty and triggers anxiety and feelings of helplessness.
If youâre guilty of breadcrumbing, keep in mind that being upfront with someone is better than keeping them on standby. âClarity is kindness, even when itâs uncomfortable,â Nuru says.
Minimizing other peopleâs concerns
When Harrigan talks with college students, she notices they often default to the same habit: minimization. It stems from good intentions. âPeople donât want to be in conflict, and they want to help each other problem-solve, so what they end up doing is saying things like, âItâs not as bad as you think it is,â or, âItâs not as big of a deal as you think it is,ââ she says. âIt minimizes the importance to a person, but itâs not like people are trying to do it from a mean-spirited place.â
Breaking the habit requires being aware of differences in perception, she adds. Keep in mind that the way you make sense of an experience is different from the way someone else will. Before responding to a friend, Harrigan suggests embracing the power of the pauseâand then asking a question. Rather than immediately offering advice or your opinion, you might, for example, ask one of these questions: âWhy do you think youâre experiencing it this way? â Or: âCan you explain a little more about what youâre thinking?â
âThat reinforces that you care about them, and that your goal is to support them by understanding them better,â she says.
Making video calls in public
When we share information with people that they donât want or didnât ask to hear, we make them âreluctant confidantes,â Harrigan says. One common way it happens: FaceTiming in public. âThe other day I was in a doctorâs office, and I couldnât believe the conversation the person next to me was having with somebody out loud,â she says. âIt was very personal.â Not to mention: Most people would prefer not to be unwitting background actors on someone elseâs video call.
Read More: 7 Polite Phrases That Are Still Worth Saying
In the coming year, make it a point to be mindful of your surroundings, Harrigan addsâand think hard about whether itâs really the right place to fill your best friend in on the late, late night you had with your date the night before.
Skipping pleasantries
Yes, everyone is busy. But Harrigan implores: Donât skip a quick hello at the beginning of your message. âPeople email for work all the time, and they jump right into the task without even a friendly greeting, a âhow are you?â or a âhow was your weekend?ââ she says. âIt makes the interaction coldâalmost like theyâre useful to you only for the task youâre working on.â Adding a friendly salutation is a quick, easy fix, she adds, that goes a long way.
Text-trapping your friends
People arenât always upfront about their motives, as you may have learned the hard way. Imagine, for example, getting this text: âDo you have plans for tonight?â Maybe you assume the person sending it wants to meet for dinner or watch a movie. But when you respond, they inform you that they need a ride to the airport, and since youâre free, you can take themâright?
âYou feel trapped,â Harrigan says. Many find it to be an ethical quandary: Is it OK to lie to get out of it? (âWhoops, I forgot! Iâm actually meeting so-and-so for dinner!â) In 2026, avoid putting your friends or colleagues in this situation by always being upfront about your motives, she says.
Filling all silences
The sound of silence makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Thatâs why they jump into saying somethingâanythingâwithout necessarily giving it much thought. When that happens, people can end up making promises they canât keep or immediately regretting their words.
In the year ahead, Harrigan issues this challenge: Get comfortable with silence. If youâre not sure what to say during a difficult conversation, she suggests acknowledging that: âIâm pausing because I really donât know the best thing to say,â or âI want to be helpful and show my support, but Iâm unsure how to best do it, and I want to be thoughtful about it.â
âHonesty like that can be very valuable in relationships,â she says.
Gunnysacking
When someone stores up a litany of frustrations, grievances, and hurt feelingsâand then dumps them all out during a fiery outburstâitâs called âgunnysacking.â This unhealthy communication pattern can take a serious toll on relationships, says Jimmie Manning, a professor of communication studies at the University of Nevada, where heâs also the director of the Relational Communication Research Laboratory.
âIf I have a relationship and I donât like that they chew with their mouth open, but I donât say anything, Iâll throw it into my little gunnysack. Then maybe they want to split the bill even though theyâve ordered two drinks and I havenât, so I throw it in the gunnysack,â he says. âOne night they say something rude, and I just let it all out: âYou are such a bad friendâyou do this, you do that, you do this.ââ
A better approach is to focus on immediate, healthy conflict resolution. Itâs also a good idea to reflect on whether the things youâre getting annoyed about actually matter. Manning suggests asking yourself: âDoes it really matter if they chew with their mouth open? Is that a âyouâ problem, or a âthemâ problem? Because at the end of the day, it probably doesnât hurt you,â especially if itâs coming from a friend or colleague you donât spend every meal with. âI call it the price of admission,â he says. âSometimes you have to be willing to put up with things.â
Misdiagnosing conflict
Manning sees it all the time: Young people, in particular, diagnose their peers as narcissists, or accuse them of gaslighting or triggering a trauma response. This âtherapy speakâ usually isnât accurateâand is weaponized to âshut down conversations and make these accusations that could carry stigma,â he says.
People are especially likely to misdiagnose conflict. Imagine this scenario, for example: âMy boyfriend has been staying over, and now heâs eating all my food. Heâs a total narcissist who eats whatever he wants. When I told him I didnât appreciate him drinking all the milk and eating all the donuts, he gaslit me and said, âWell, I buy all the food for us when we go out to eat.â Now every time he walks in the room, I have a trauma response because Iâm afraid heâs going to eat my food again.â
Read More: Hereâs How to Know Youâre Talking to a Narcissist
âThis probably all relates back to some very valid feelings or tensions in the relationship, but it misdiagnoses conflict,â Manning says. âIt stigmatizes mental-health language and uses it in a way thatâs not appropriateâand most importantly, itâs probably going to escalate the problem.â
Framing hurtful words as honesty
Honesty is essential in any relationship, but it can also be misused. One way that happens is when people frame harsh words as âjust being honest,â releasing frustration without considering how the words might be received. âIt becomes a shield for cutting remarks,â Nuru says. âHonesty stops feeling like a path toward understanding, and starts feeling like something that carries more hurt than clarity.â
To ditch this habit, make it a point to slow down and consider what role you hope honesty will play in the conversation. Nuru advises asking yourself questions like: âDoes this need to be said? Does it need to be said now? And am I the one who needs to say it?â Doing so can help clarify whether the comment will foster positive change and understanding or add strain, she says.
Struggling to hold differences
Caring about someone doesnât mean you have to be on the same page about everything. Yet âsomewhere along the way, we started believing that closeness requires agreement,â Nuru says. She often sees people slip into either/or mindsets, convinced that only one perspective is valid; anything else feels like a threat. That shifts the focus of conversations from trying to understand to trying to win, and people end up defending positions rather than exploring perspectives, she says.
Read More: 11 Things to Say to Your Relative Whose Politics You Hate
In 2026, challenge yourself to remain openâwhich doesnât mean changing your mind, but simply hearing another perspective as part of the conversation. Itâs possible to stay connected and recognize different viewpoints, Nuru says. âWe donât lose anything by hearing something else,â she adds. âRelationships can hold more than one truth at a time.â
Wondering what to say in a tricky social situation? Email timetotalk@time.com

